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| 11 Jul 2009 13:09 |
| Sauce for the goose |
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| disgusted |
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Whenever sexual harassment comes up, somebody always pops up to say "What about guys? What about when guys are harassed? Would you feel the same way if it were a guy?" The answer, for any decent person anyway, is yes.
David Brooks, conservative columnist for the New York Times, gave an interview last week in which he mentioned that a Senator had groped him at a party. " I sat next to a Republican senator once at dinner and he had his hand on my inner thigh the whole time. I was like, ehh, get me out of here." The interviewer asked, "Sorry, who was that?" and Brooks replied, "I’m not telling you, I’m not telling you."
Just like many women who deal with sexual harassment, he didn't make a fuss at the time -- he was no doubt aware that if he complained the Senator could retaliate against him professionally and might well convince others to do the same. Just like many women in the same situation, he refused to name his harasser in public for fear of further retaliation.
And just like many women in that situation, the seriousness of the assault was immediately downplayed. Ann Althouse: " Why would he just think I was like, ehh, get me out of here. What stopped him from leaving? Or are we seriously to think some Senator had Brooks in an intimate grip all night and Brooks did nothing but think about how he didn't like it?"
The liberals aren't behaving any better, by the way. Thersites at Whiskey Fire: "Is anyone genuinely startled that Brooks would have submitted to sexual abuse on the part of an abuser in a position of power...? I sure ain't. I'd have hit the guy, and if it had been her, my wife would have hit the guy, and neither of us would have done squat to protect a sexual predator:" Crooks and Liars says "Perhaps a little too much TMI, David." and calls Brooks creepy. And please, to save your eyes, don't read any of the commenters.
So. What if it were a guy? He'd get mocked, and minimized, and second-guessed... just like a woman. I guess we have equality after all.
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and calls Brooks creepy.
Wow. Just wow. If anyone wonders why he didn't say anything at the time or before now, they've got their answer right there.
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Punch a US Senator? Sure, that's what you would do. Of course you would. Please keep saying that because it's obviously TRUE, right? Okay.
People just spout this stuff off and it doesn't mean anything. The more I watch internet kerfluffles the more everything looks like a stimulus-response loop. Oh, look, Ann Althouse received the auditory stimulus and is now playing the Ann Althouse tape! Her commenters will give her the food pellet.
Bah.
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Oh gross I looked at some of the comments. It's like sexual harassment bingo! "he loved it" "he's a whore" "it's his fault for not leaving him" "it wasn't harassment it was just petting" "he's bragging" "he's lying" "he asked for it" BINGO BINGO BINGO
What's our special prize for today's winner?
Why, it's a winnebago full of HOMOPHOBIA! Because what would this be without a lot of FAG FAG FAG FAG GROSS GROSS GROSS! That's a whole bingo card of its own, so even MORE chances to win!
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tavella |
| 11 Jul 2009 20:39 (UTC) |
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While I'm no fan of Brooksie, yeah, blaming him is just as assholish as blaming a woman. I was a little weirded out by his passivity in the face of it -- I might not make a public fuss myself, but I can't imagine sitting there for hours tolerating it, and Brooks is a powerful man in his own right -- but the bad behavior is all on the senator's part.
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| fengi |
| 12 Jul 2009 04:55 (UTC) |
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Have you ever been put on the spot that way? I have - one tends to freeze up. The point of harassment, as Brooks says, is they invade your space and put you on the defensive. They, in fact, dare you to react while pretending nothing is going on and rely on shame and discomfort to get away with it. He was summarizing events in a sentence, I'm sure a more detailed recounting of every awkward moment would explain more and how long it lasted but that isn't the point, is it? If it were a woman or a man with better politics, would he be second guessed like this?
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Not too long ago I read a novel in which the male protagonist was in a position where a woman said 'sleep with me or I'll turn you over to the authorities' and it felt no different from reading about a woman in the same position - it made me uncomfortable, and I hated the author for not treating the situation with the respect it deserved (he doesn't have to go through with it, they're parting amicably, it just perls off his back and has no meaning whatsoever.)
Harassment, power games and abuse are shared human experiences, unfortunately. The problems comes when the discussion gains an undertone of 'but enough about women, let's talk about men' because men are, obviously, more important than women.
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| lordshiva |
| 12 Jul 2009 06:20 (UTC) |
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So. What if it were a guy? He'd get mocked, and minimized, and second-guessed... just like a woman. I guess we have equality after all.
Oh hell yes. A bit shameful sometimes too, isn't it?
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| fengi |
| 12 Jul 2009 14:34 (UTC) |
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I've added credit to you in my similar post. Sorry about the oversight.
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| jonquil |
| 12 Jul 2009 15:01 (UTC) |
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I was really grateful to you in your separate post for stepping up and explaining why a person couldn't necessarily say no in a public situation. (I'd been meaning to PM you about it.)
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